Sneakingly stashing you sex toys away is an art form that you are probably mastering – especially if you live with flatmates! Below is a fun and useful guide for 38 of the best places where you can hide your dildo (and other personal pleasure related stuff) in a sneaky way (without anyone else knowing), whether you are moving back in with your folks, dealing with the scrutinizing questions of your nosy roommates, or just want to keep an air of mystery.
Why Should a Dildo Be Hidden?
-and leave you scratching your head wondering why the fuck you'd ever need to be stealthy with a dildo. For some people, that act may be as mindless as throwing it into the nightstand. Unless that person is the distant relative who you keep to themselves, or you have children who like to be nosy, or you let your young kids explore the house freely, you might want to find a more secure and private place to store your dildos.
Before Stowing It Away...
Before you stow it away, it’s important that your dildo is spotlessly clean! To protect your beloved item from dust, dirt, and anything else you don’t want it coming into contact with, give it a good clean before storing. And to keep it lint-free and out of sight of curious eyes, you can wrap it in a soft cloth or sex toy bag.
Drawer Stash: The Sock and Undie Trick Instead of the junk drawer, you have a sock and undie drawer.
Now, of course if you’re thinking hiding places, drawers are usually the first thing that pop into your head, but no, we must be more inventive than that. Consider making use of the drawers you hardly ever open (underwear and socks). Take your dildo, pull it through a clean sock or place it inside a piece of underwear, then stash it in the back of your drawer, or in a spot where it’s not going to be discovered. And it could also make a great place to store your clothes if they’re out of season (those ugly sweaters that never make an appearance except in winter, for example), if you happen to be one of those people that has a drawer specifically for them.
The Inconspicuous Slide Beneath Furniture
Look around your room for a sec. Do you have a base on your dresser or chest of drawers? If those are the circumstances, then you've found an amazing hiding place! Just stuff your wrapped toy in one of the openings where furniture meets the floor and no one will be the wiser!
Additional Cabinet and Drawer Hideouts
If you’ve got bedroom drawers that are too obvious for you, look beyond the obvious and outside the bedroom for places in your home in which you might just be able to deftly stow your dildo:
• Top Kitchen Cabinet: That hard-to-reach cabinet above the sink or refrigerator.
• TV Stand: There are lots of nooks and crannies in the back of the TV stand.
• Laundry Shelf: The shelf above the washing machine and dryer is another great hiding spot.
• On the bookcase: Tuck it inside a box or basket on your bookcase.
• The Storage Ottoman: The furniture is basically made for hidden storage purposes.
• Game Table: No one would ever think to look there? Precisely.
• Let it stand inside a tall vase among the curios in your cupboard for an extra level of concealment.
Stuff It: Pillows, Soft Toys And More
If you have a pillow, comforter or stuffed animal, you've discovered the ideal locati0n to hide. You just slit a seam, pull out a little stuffing, then tuck in your dildo. Nobody will know once you sew it back up!
The Retreat Under the Bed, Which Is Dust-Free
Placing your dildo under the bed is a timeless move, but it must be carefully executed.. Just rolling it under would make a pile of dust! Instead, wrap it with a small towel and tuck it into some bags or a hidden storage box under your bed. If you’re really daring, you could even poke a tiny hole in the side of your box spring, and surreptitiously slide it in there. Out of sight, out of mind!
Closet Hideouts: The Hidden Places
You have millions and millions and millions of hiding places in your closet. To keep your toy safe and sound, use the following tips:
• Inside a Boot or Shoe: Put it in one of the boots or shoes you wear less often.
• Hoodie Pocket or Coat Pocket: Tuck it where no one is likely to look.
• Costume or Suit Cover: Keep it inside a garment bag.
• Within Luggage: Great for bags that aren’t used often.
• Bowling Bag or Sports Duffle: Ideal for carrying sports gear.
• File Box: Tuck it away with your most important papers.
• Lock Box: If you don’t feel safe leaving it in your car, lock it up.
• Closet Safe: This one would be obvious, if you have one (mine doesn’t).
• Hat: Place it into a hat that doesn’t get a lot of use.
• Another crafty place that may reside in your closet is an unwanted purse or tote bag.
Secret Spaces in Bathrooms: The Hideaway Stash
If your bathroom is connected to your bedroom, you can make it a little simpler to hide your toys. Here are several ingenious suggestions:
• Behind the Sink: Stashed behind a jumble of toiletries and cleaning supplies.
• Travel/Cosmetic Bag:keep it in a less used bag as it can remain hidden there.
• Closets and bathroom drawers are great hiding spots, and if someone is searching for you it’s unlikely they’ll think to look there.
Lock It Up: Ultimate Protection
If security is key to you and your dildo, this one is worth locking down (you see what I did there?!) Consider these options:
• Lock Box or Safe - Protect your favorite toy.
• Desk Drawer with Lock: If you have it, this can act as a supplementary security perimeter.
• Luggage Lock: Lockthru down a 2 zipper bag into a locked piece of luggage.
Garage Hideouts: An Unconventional Location
Sometimes you need to reach beyond what’s traditional and let your mind go free. The garage has nooks upon nooks:
• Inside a Tent Bag: A smart spot to hide that thing.
• Yoga Mat: Make it into a yoga mat, if you like.
• Toolbox: Hide it in your toolbox among your other tools.
• Watering Can: Clever — it would be easy to miss.
• On some shelf behind boxes: Out of sight, out of mind.
• Car Glove-Compartment: Just for when you’re desperate.
• Shop Vac: Who dares to look inside?
• Festive Decorations Box: Perfect for storing seasonal goods.
• Car Wash Bucket: A crafty spot to think about.
Concluding
The following 38 ideas give you a wide array of choices in which to stash your dildo away to prevent out of sight and out of mind, whether you just want something for a brief reprieve, or a more long-term storage solution. Use a little creativity and time and your secret personal toys can be safely hidden and discreetly contained to maintain your privacy.
