For instance, there’s the wondrous and mysterious realm of horse dongs or, really, sex toys based on the body of the mighty horse. I have to admit, I hadn't imagined that I'd spend my time at 2 am performing a particularly odd search for "horse dildo meaning". Like they say, "Nothing good happens after 2 am" (or maybe it was his mother) in Ted Mosby's case, his Mom told him that. But my curiosity got the best of me and I couldn't help but feel completely mesmerized by these amazing little masterpieces.
My most reliable source is none other than Deva who lives over on THL but I will also draw on data from the fount of wisdom of horse dildos that is Reddit, a veritable treasure trove of information on the world wide web. What I found is simply fascinating. Despite what you may commonly hear, people who enjoy these huge dildos are not really trying to get the sex with the actual horse experience. In reality, however, there are plenty of reasons people are turning to such unconventional pleasure tools:
High Texture and Quality: Horse dildos are usually of a much higher quality and texture than even some human dildos which has value for people who want the best.
Horse Dildo Fulfillment: If you ask some people, the fact that horse dildo is so large means you'll feel more "filled up" and fulfilled, and that is mighty satisfying.
Boredom aversion: Let's face it, the average human penis can get a little boring when you have the whole of human anatomy to think about at 3AM. Assuming, of course, you know what you are doing, and you actually have a target. Perhaps an article completely on that subject would be in order. But I digress.
Now, let's dive into the strange world of horse dildos. We’ll talk about what exactly a horse dildo is, how to use them, and even list a few great ones that will certainly include the perfect one for you.
What are the Uses of a Horse Dildo?
Human inhibitions tend to mask the child-like enjoyment and the self-expression. However, at a certain time in their lives it dawns on everyone that happiness is not about playing by the rules. We realize that we have permission to satisfy the desire of our souls and that we don't have to depend on someone else to give us permission. I've all too many times decided not to buy things because I did not ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ "need" them, which I've come to realize isn't the point.
I could write an entire blog post about how many times I’ve repressed my desires all because of what is considered "acceptable in society". Sure, I have grown past those limitations since. Sure, if I want a 13-inch dildo, I’ll get one, no problem. Maybe someone walked into their dwelling one day and said 'a 6 inch human penis just won't do ensure that to us be a master of lengthened pleasure.'
The reasons to take a horse dildo, as well as the people willing to run with this fantasy, are as diverse as you’d expect. And this choice has absolutely nothing to do with anybody’s friends, neighbors or lovers. It’s not just a destination to have crossed off, but more of a personal experience based on tastes and goals. Let me clear up some things as to why someone would choose this unconventional choice. Think of it, if you will, as the unauthorized history of horse dildos.
Top Reasons to Use a Horse Cock Dildo
One great quality to develop appreciation for is curiosity. Don't you think the world needs more assholes who have somehow managed to resist their own curiosity? Why, for the love of god, would someone go in search of a horse dildo scaled to such freakish proportions that it may as well come from another dimension? The solution is, quite simply, that it is not meant to be used by humans – it’s a horse dildo!
Then again, maybe you’ve stepped out and decided to become an adventurer. You’ve seen those types of things on porn movies and asked the question, “could I take that? Is this something that I really want?” The group agreed on the fact that as we all know, the porn industry is not really a great place for authenticity. And yet, a horse dildo is something you can hold in your hand, so much of that buzz is just right there, waiting to be felt.
(I should also take this time to remind you that these horse dildos are made of body-safe silicone, no horses are actually used in the making of them. And I want to be clear that I do not have a secret stable somewhere that my horses are without these limbs, and then find them instead in a nightstand drawer. Sure, I love a cutesy-edged novelty pleasure object every now and then with an animal motif, but not at the expense of an actual animal. Please do read, heed, and adopt the same principle.
But in the realm of personal play things, you may just be a person who loves something a little off the wall. Yes, just like me! I am absolutely going to buy a horse dildo for myself. I was so excited to — get this — hear about people I meet because of the stories they told involving such impactful inventions that I even had the nerve to phone them at the entirely ungodly hour of 7 a.m.
And don't be discouraged if you have a unique fetish. I honor your likes, I acknowledge you and I understand your tastes. For a further journey into the magical world of equestrian dildos and all their tantalizing uses, I invite you to read on!
Which transitions us nicely to the next section of this amazing article: where to get horse dildos! Just know that every item listed below has been thoroughly tested and earned some top marks from some truly amazing friends of mine.
Tips for Using Your Amazing Horse Dildo!
Exercise is supposed to extend your capabilities, not shrink them, but as I type these words, I am desperately practicing standing up out of my seat and walking, with the same effort and pain had I just sat through a week of constipation. And yes, maybe I pulled a bit too hard at the gym, but seriously, it's fucking depressing to look at myself in the mirror and think: "Why oh why do I do this to myself?"
I even find that frequent exercise works better than my sporadic, occasional efforts. I will avoid a conversation about squats as they are universally considered tormentors. So instead, I’ll stick to my comfort zone, which is sex toys. Because, as with traditional workouts, there are rules to be followed when it comes to using a large dildo.
Let’s start with lubrication. It was only 7:30, but my friends gave me great advice. They suggested, quite strongly, lube. Lots of it, if I ever decided I wanted to try a horse dildo.
Besides allowing for simultaneous vaginal and butthole penetration a horse dildo might be a bit forceful so to speak during insertion.
Some people enjoy these feelings, but it’s best to take it slowly and think about your own comfort. The time you take to gear up will allow your body to open up, and to be ready for the loads to come. Sometimes slowing down to enjoy the experience and going at your own pace can be a lot of fun. I promise, the experience is WELL worth it!
THE HORSE DILDO Frequently Asked Questions
So, my horse dildo is kind of big what do I do?
If you run into a horse dildo that seems a bit much for your personal preference do not be afraid, do not panic. You should always remember that comfort comes first when it comes to penetration. It's a you pick and choose how far you want to stick something NOT a there is no going over any limits that make you uncomfortable. If it's something that you don't want to do, it doesn't have to be something that you do. You should try not to do anything that hurts, irritates, or draws blood from your awesome anatomy.
Can you get away with using a horse dildo?
Rest assured, horse dildo sex is safe. But, you HAVE to use plenty of lube - just like with any other solo activity. And pay attention to your body - sometimes it can be easy to get carried away when you're caught up in the moment. If you feel pain or see traces of bleeding, you should consult a doctor.
Remember, that consent and safety should go hand in hand with fun and exploration. Do whatever you desire, but just make sure you are happy above all else!