Where can I find a safe word? As defined in Wikipedia: In the complex and delicate domain of BDSM, safewords are a precious collection of codes or signals which can be used to convey a person's physical or emotional state, particularly when this state has crossed their personal limits of resilience and endurance, or that they are close to doing so.
In other words, I give you permission to take control of me and dominate me as I feel you desire and want. For the sake of that fundamental equality, however, I must have the power to stop what you are doing on whim.
Is a safeword 100% necessary? Well, if you know a man more intimately than he knows himself, even better than he knows his own parents—or even through being more familiar with him than a parasite ingesting itself on his stomach, then it may be in special cases that you omit the tenderness in your term for him. Now, leaving aside the philosophical question of whether it is humanly possible for something like what is implied here to have actually happened, let us put together a thought experiment and stipulate that it did. If so, would you really not want a safeword? Of course, male sex toys are included.
I had this one experience with my ex boyfriend Jax. You know, something in my bone marrow told me Jax was tough as nails. I would be screaming myself hoarse about some piddling warm-up we played that day.” But in all seriousness, his pain endurance was literally — literally! — through the roof.
It was kind of funny, when Jax got his first spanking from me it wasn't all that hard, and not really a look alike a light tap for both of us. Immediately he screamed, calling on the protection word. I was 2/1 100% shocked that it is considered by many as something acceptable to be doing in our daily lives.
Yet somehow Jax had hardly even started to speak when your hand found his cheek, and the impact of this heightened accidently caused him to bite down on his own tongue. This unexpected development was completely out of the blue for me personally. No possible way I could know and be prepared for that kind of ADVENTURE unless that was how he had informed me of the one word which universally means You're Safe.
So even with all the awesome knowledge I have there still things that happen that you just can't anticipate, can't predict in advance. One of the purposes of a safeword is to negotiate the parts you don't expect. In other words, you can never be certain you know someone well because the moment you begin interacting with them, you are going to encounter unforeseen situations.
Unless, of course, you’re actually Doctor Strange, just chilling with the Time Stone and meticulously calculating all of the 14,000,605 possible scenarios. If that describes you, then what can I say? I’m sorry to hear it; Just keep on keepin’ on, I guess! Meanwhile, for the rest of the mortals amongst us, this safeword is clearly our most solid chance to have a safety guarantee.
I don't know why we can't just say, "Stop!" as our safeword. Remember that old adage “No means yes, and yes means anaconda”? It's not meant to be taken serious - But if you look closer, it almost descends even into the BDSM area of life.
For some people yes as I know people who endorphins effect to where there was a polar of feelings of excessive pain to excessive pleasure. Even if they’re completely satisfied with the experience, yearning for more, and screaming “No! or "Stop!", they could well be enjoying themselves.
This fascinating phenomenon is called "consensual non-consent" in psychology lingo. Isn't that astonishing? Imagine for a moment, that a pair of older married individuals are seeking to shake it up a bit. They make a deal to "play act" a difficult situation where one "rapes" and the other "resists." Neither of them is fooled, they know that the “no” is part of the act.
But here's the catch: what if one of them goes off course? Now a "no" is taken at face value. An honest no means that you need to stop what you're doing right away, because the pleasure of the pain has crossed over into real pain.
You see, the first "no" doesn't really have any meaning, but the second "no" is a solid "no". This complicated web makes using protective words, like “No!” very confusing. or "Stop!" as a safeword. The Key to a Safe Safeword When choosing a safeword, always choose something that is clear and unique.
Some of the most common safe words include: I would highly recommend the following safeword method, that is used worldwide: The Traffic Light System (CNC Codes). This mechanism for signalling the mood and condition of the passive partner's emotional and physical state is simple, and three colors are employed:
• Red signals, stop what you’re doing right now. No favors asked and no hesitation.
• Yellow is a “stop” or “take a break” signal, a signal that it when the situation has gotten a little overwhelming or they just need a moment to regain their composure.
• Green: You are good to go! Keep calm, all is well.
One great thing about this is that the person who is not currently playing can say the color at any time, but the person who is answering can also check by asking, “What color are you?” In the context of it not being simply an "on" or "off" switch, that's a huge advantage. “Yellow” is a valuable middle road here—where changes and pauses can come before the situation ever gets “red.” Good communication is key and you want everyone to be safe and comfortable.
